Facing Reality
by AmadErik
Summary: This is my entry for the "Erik meets Erik" contest of the Discord server, Erika's Lair. Leroux based prequel in Persia, from the Daroga's POV.


Life wasn't as pleasant and as relatively easy as before since Erik set his feet in my country and region. Our relationship was a strange and contradictory, as in one moment I was in awe of his inimitable skills and I felt one of the luckiest people among humankind for the ability to meet him, and in the next exact moment I was cursing the day Allah had guided him in my path.

I may swear to Allah no one ever in this world had met such a contradictory character as Erik is.

Erik did nothing to ease my pain about the issue, on the contrary, he made sure I was desperate and annoyed enough because of his actions, and presence in my life. It looked like he enjoyed being a pain in the butt, which fact was beyond me, as when he was in a kinder mood, he could be described as a strange but good friend to me almost, and was seemingly seeking for someone to like him at least, and was yearning for acceptance. But how could he expect someone to accept his behavior and like him when he sometimes was simply unbearable?

I tried to do my best to get used to and adapt to his mood swings, arrogance and sarcastic remarks most of the time, and I swallowed the most I was able to without humiliating myself completely. This was much to his liking though, and I believe this had caused him to respect me on his own twisted way, as I do believe he wasn't even able to fully respect anyone. He was the kind of person who would have even laughed Prophet Mohamed in the face if he happened to say something which wasn't to Erik's liking. This behavior had caused us many very uncomfortable moments at Court, as Erik was literally unwilling to say or do anything out of mere politeness which did not meet his standards and he was "unable to kiss anyone's butt for three well-composed false compliments in return" as he would reason to me. Yet his questionable manners weren't the worst of his habits, as I was able to save the situation by explaining he was just a foreigner and infidel all in all, but as he was a breathtakingly stunning master of his arts, all of the Court, and even the Shah himself forgave his extreme rudeness towards our traditions in general.

As I was responsible for his safety, and he was exactly aware of that fact, he did everything possible to make my job harder and my life more miserable. He seemingly did not care about risking his health or even life for the sake of a well-played "joke"on my expense.

He was balancing on balcony railings, sliding off of banisters, jumping down from insufferable heights, out of windows, and he never suffered a scratch or sprain. He was like a damned, self-conceited spoiled and extremely fidgety cat, ready to hiss in my face anytime. The matters got worse during and after the construction of the Palace of Mazandaran, when Erik was able to entertain me with his new "let us disappear through a trapdoor and reappear through another to frighten the Daroga" childish nonsense.

But however annoying and frightening these plays were, I did not fear these the most. The most frightful and infuriating habit of his was the one he referred to as "experiments" or "scientific research".

I had spent long hours trying my best to convince him to abandon those crazy ideas, patiently, or not too much patiently explaining him the risks of a major possible injury or even death, and I asked him numerous times who should finish the Palace if he dies during the construction. Erik, though, was too painfully stubborn and not even his love, architecture was enough of an argument to make him change his mind. If I wasn't able to convince him not to experiment, I at least accompanied him to make sure I was there if I was needed.

He at least, agreed to that term and never left without me.

I believe it wasn't always about the sake of his safety, it was merely because of the fact he liked to brag to me about the extreme level of his talent in developing machines or inventing them to make one's life easier. He liked to brag about he was going to turn the planet to a better one with his ideas and human race will once be sorry for mistreating such a genius. These statements were followed always by a bitter laugh, then he sent a hateful glance my way.

These delirious and dangerous sessions, where Erik was experimenting about some crazy ideas like making flying machines, or something even more insane, took place in an abandoned cave near a smaller lake, as he stated he needed water to produce steam and to examine different matters. This latter part about those unknown matters had worried me to no end. The experiments went surprisingly well most of the time, and ended with Erik either emerging from the cave delightedly or with a major disappointment, cursing under his breath, swearing to God it will be successful the next time.

One day though, the turn of events wasn't how I expected them to be.

I had heard a huge bang from inside the cave and a painful cry of the well-known crystal-clear and enchanting voice, then a thud and a moan. I couldn't see anything of the scene when I was running towards the spot I heard Erik landing at, because of the huge amount of hot white reek emerging from the opening of the cave.

"Erik! Erik!" I cried, trying desperately to locate him. Finally,coughing hard from the choking smoke and my eyes full of tears of both irritation and worry, I had found him.

He was laying on the ground, next to a smaller pile of rock, at the bottom of a nearby hill, in a twisted position, and seemingly unconsciously. Upon arriving by his side, constantly calling to him though, I could see his golden cat-like eyes opening, staring at me in utter… unawareness.

"Uhh." He was only able to squeeze out some incoherent moans, no matter what I asked about how he felt and if it hurt anywhere, he did not reply, only held his hand against his head, which was most likely throbbing. I did not want him to over strain his brain, I helped him up from the ground, and as I made sure he was able to walk a bit, I guided him back to our horses, and took him back to his suite so he was able to rest for the afternoon. I did not worry too much back then- I guessed he merely hit his head and wasn't too talkative because of pain. He did not look like to be injured anywhere, his head wasn't wounded either.

I was determined to scold him for that and convince him to abandon that risky madness for good, as see, what happens when he does not pay enough attention to what he was doing, and we need him alive to finish that goddamned construction of his dream palace.

In the morning I sent Darius to Erik's suite to ask the servants about his howabouts. Darius arrived back with strange and contradicting news though. Seemingly, Erik was fine, his head was bothering him a bit, as he said, but he was capable of communication and functioning, he was aware of what his name was, but he did not exactly know why and where he was. He kept asking his servants if "those beautiful surroundings" were really his private rooms and just as if he saw the bathroom for the first time, he was in awe of the marble pool. When Darius showed up at him, according to my faithful servant he turned to him, pointing at him and asked: "Who the Hell are you, Ali ben Asrafel?"

"I am Darius. You know me." My servant answered, to which Erik sent him a laughter and asked if "he was the Darius with the treasure cave".

"Most likely he is mocking you." I sighed. "Don't take it too badly, you do know how he can be."

"I do, Master, dear, but this is something else with him right now. He is not himself."

"Why do you say that?"

"He… isn't wearing the mask and it does not bother him, as I could see. Other times he would yell at people to stop looking at him and puts a mask on. Now he is walking without it and keeps asking why everyone is so scared of him suddenly, what did he do."

I stood up from my chair with a noticeable amount of worry, to check on him myself. However provocative Erik could be sometimes, under normal circumstances he would never ever walk around without a mask and pretend everything was all right.

Upon arriving to his suite, I saw him sitting at his desk with no mask on and was working on something.

"Are you working on the plans?" I called out, hoping he is his old self and regained his common sense, finally working on the designs of the Palace, knowing we needed to hurry.

"Bonjour." He lifted his head up, looking at me, examining me as if he had seen me for the first time in his life. "What do you wish of me, my good Monsieur?"

"Do you not call me Daroga any longer?" I asked with surprise, both hoping he would use my real name for once finally and fearing he really does not recognize me at the moment.

"If you wish me to do so, tell me and I will." He scratched his head. "No one answers me why I am here in this richness, and foreign country, could you help me and explain, perhaps?"

"Erik, are you mocking me?"

"Everyone asks me so." He looked confused, looking around in his room, then back at me, his twisted yellow eyes rolling in utter disorientation and blinking several times.

"You might have suffered a concussion then." I sighed, leaning closer to him. "Don't you want to lay down…? Do you maybe feel sick to your stomach?"

"Only of hunger." He replied. "They sent me a very kind fool this morning with a tray of food, who addressed me by different names like "My Master" and "Maestro" and when I turned around to greet him and get the tray he screamed in my face and ran out of the room, and he took the tray with him, the idiot. Is it a tradition here… Daroga, or what your name was…? Did I say it right?"

"Erik what exactly you remember clearly?" I wished to test his memory and how awful might the memory loss be. Does he even know about his face?

"My name is Erik, I am an illusionist and architect and I can play many instruments and am perfect in ventriloquism. I was performing in Russia the last time and… somehow I got here."

"How old are you?"

"Umm not sure but I am not sure why I don't know… maybe in my 20s? I am… quite young am I not?"

"Erik… why aren't you wearing your mask?" The final question to see if he was aware of his deformity which he left out of the list always, but it might just be his usual way of denying the problem.

"Mask?" His eyes widened to their full size with the most clueless expression I have ever seen in my life. "What kind of mask?"

"The mask you wear."

"What for? Are we having a masked ball or something along those lines? I am not sure I can attend, seeing how much I have to wok on something I don't even remember I should work on. What kind of plans, do tell, I pray?"

"The plans of the Palace, Erik, the construction."

"Mhm." He nodded, but his eyes reflected nothing but emptiness.

Disaster! Horror! Tragedy! If Erik lost his memory about the whole time period in Persia and all his plans in his head, and we can't finish the construction without his ideas, most likely BOTH of us are going to be beheaded by the Shah. I had to make him remember back to at least the Palace… otherwise he seemed to be fine. He was even more to my liking, being extremely polite now.

"Erik, do you mind if we take a walk perhaps?"

I offered to show the Palace in construction to him, maybe it will get back in his mind and he will know how he wanted to continue the designs. He shrugged and stood up, politely asking me to lead him there.

"Do you need to be led there?" I asked with disbelief.

"I've never been there."

I wasn't sure if Erik was fooling around with me, still, or he was ill in reality, denying the 3 years he had already spent in Persia. Can it be someone forgets 3 whole years? I had to face the reality though, when he did not start searching for his mask even to leave the suite and go outside, that this whole situation wasn't a well-composed, but cruel joke of his to annoy me. I wished it was.

"Erik, do you not want to wear your mask for the outside…?"

"Why would I? Only the women cover their face here. I am not a woman."

He would leave the room without a mask without hesitation, so I wished to save the situation by telling him it would be better for both of us to wear masks for outside because of the hot weather we had and the construction was at a dusty environment. He was a bit of skeptic at first, but finally he agreed to put on the familiar mask which was placed on his desk. He did not recognize it as his, though, he believed the servants prepared it for him. I wore a scarf around my face the whole time, going outside, and led him to the construction where we had to face the next awful happening.

Erik was in awe, looking at the interior of the building which was beautiful even in this half-made state and it was reflecting some of the brilliance the done masterpiece will have. He was admiring it and said it was very beautiful and "he wished he could design something like this."

I fainted.

We took Erik home after he revived me and expressed his worry over whether I had some illness and offered me he would and could cure me. I told him I was fine and went back to my suite to think. What to do… what to do? How to save both of us? How to make him remember?

This was the longest night of my existence and I do believe my hair started turning gray that awful night with the horrible fears and doubts of mines. While I was crossing the room numerous times without a minute of sleep, trying to find a solution to this disaster, just to mock me, some cheerful melodies played on the violin entered the room through the open window and they sounded like a laughter. Why did you not forget how to play your goddamned violin instead of wiping your memory free of the plans of the Palace we need to finish sooner than when I'd like it? Why do you, Erik, have to annoy me even in your utter unawareness? Are you really this miserable?

I could not stay at home any longer, and decided to go for a late night visit to that madman to hammer some common sense in his skull head finally, if it was possible at all.

He was surprisingly kind, letting me in. I have to admit I liked his behavior much more at this time, when he was respectful and obedient, yet I needed to admit it wasn't him, it really wasn't the Erik I got to know, only his shadow.

"Can't you sleep, inhabitant of this strange country?"

"No, I can't." I sighed.

"Me neither. I hope it wasn't my playing waking you up. I like to play at night for some reason."

"No, Erik, don't worry about it, I like how you play."

"Thank you." He smiled at me with that horribly disfigured mouth showing his teeth, yet, contrary to the repulsive appearence, the smile was a kind one, not Erik's usual grin.

"I tell you the truth, I am rather worried about you not recognizing anyone here and you not remembering anything that happened to you in the last 3 years."

"3 years you say?" He placed the violin down to a table with some surprise. "I am sorry to hear it worries you and it does worry me as well, but I am afraid I can do nothing about it, at least not now yet. I tried to recall that building, but my head really hurts if I try and I honestly don't like that."

I thought it was the best if we did not overstrain his brain in any way, so I did not force him to try to recall anything about Persia or me any longer, but he did not wish me to leave for a time still. He asked me to play a game of chess with him, and I did so. And another. And a third party. While the chess parties he wasn't like his usual sarcastic self, he was cheerfully chatting with me about everything. Music, architecture, books we have both read. I hoped some of the knowledge he had shown will finally unlock parts of his memories, but sadly, he only remembered the plots and sensations the book left in his soul, not the circumstances among he had read them. He was the kindest and most caring host to me for the first time during those years we had spent together. He addressed me by my real name after I asked him to do so, and he ordered my favorite sorbet to be served for me during the game. "Ordered" was not the best word to describe the act, however, he very nicely asked his trembling servant to bring it to us, who did not really dare to walk closer to Erik because of the lack of the mask. Erik acted so carefree though, not realizing, or not wanting to realize the meaning behind those horrified glances towards his face.

However pleasing the rest of the night was for me though, it was dawning, and I needed to concentrate on the solution of our problem which did not seem to be that much of a problem any more, so I told him I was going to leave him for the day, and in the evening, if he does not feel better, I will try to secretly call a doctor for him, so no one in the Court shall notice anything about the happenings which might lead us to danger.

Thank Allah, he did agree to that and very kindly accompanied me outside and asked I shall take care of myself and try to sleep for at least a few hours.

I tried to drag myself to bed to at least sleep for a few, well not hours, but merely minutes before I could attend to my duties and in the end, search for a doctor, as I believed nothing was going to change. I could not remove my robe even, when I heard desperate banging on my door. I answered the door with worry, and one of Erik's servants grabbed my arm, stuttering nervously to follow him as fast as I could as Erik was very ill suddenly.

Upon arriving to his suite, the servant dragged me towards the bathroom.

"Is he in there?"

"He… he is nowhere… I am afraid. Not anymore."

The servant stuttered in a soft dying whisper.

When I opened the bathroom door, fearing to see something terrible, I did not have to disappoint. I did. Erik was standing in front of the mirror, screaming at the glass with his gaping open mouth, his sunken yellow eyes staring at the reflection of the skull face with utter shock. He was screaming from the top of his lungs, his otherwise charming voice distorted to no end, finally going faint and raw from his vocal chords being over strained by the endless inarticulate screaming, and in the end he was only able to exhale his breath without any sound at the glass which turned humid where his breath met it. He was motionless, and his eyes reflected hollow fear and disbelief. Minutes, terribly long minutes being spent in shock and waiting, had passed and Erik was staying still, in the exact same position, and I feared he had just lost his mind for good, when he suddenly started shaking rapidly, then turned away from the mirror to be violently sick, and when he finished it, he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing.

I walked closer to him, not exactly knowing what to do to calm him to some level, and I knelt down to the level of his head to see how he was. He instantly covered his face from my sight, and crawled away from me like a frightened spider. He crawled to the corner and turned to face the wall, on his hands and knees, carefully hiding his face from sight, then pressed his hand against his forehead, seemingly being in utter pain. He stayed there, shaking, rubbing his head and softly muttering incoherent words and parts of sentences from his earlier life.

"Mother… mother… please… don't leave… a kiss… I just asked for… a kiss… no… I did not mean to… I spread the plague… I don't want to… Erik… _Erik is… ugly…_"

He cried on the floor for a long time until he literally ran out of tears to cry out, laying on his stomach, burying his unmasked face between his fingers, he peeked out from between them to see I was still there. I did not know what was happening and if we still needed a doctor, but I tried my best to approach him with as much empathy as I could.

I must have ruined something though, as Erik growled at me when I tried to touch his shoulder to comfort him and in a hostile tone in his still raspy voice he snapped at me.

"The plans of the main foyer will be on your desk by noon. Go to the Hell away and leave me to take a bath, Daroga."

With a huge amount of sadness in my heart I left the suite and walked home. Now I was sure everything was back to normal, and I wasn't worried about the Palace's plans any longer, but I could not be wholeheartedly happy about the "good news". Everything went back to normal, for sure, even though we could hardly call that mess of a life normal, we can agree about that. I was sorry to see the happiness and gleeful unawareness disappearing from those ugly, but still happily glancing eyes, and utter dismay and hopelessness taking over his soul again. Erik met Erik, and the darkness of cruel and cold reality sucked him back from the one happy day he spent in the most happiness possible… _not knowing Erik. _


End file.
